The True Meaning of Christmas

Tie a Yellow Ribbon

Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?

Is God Using NAFTA Superhighway to Stop Homosexuality?

Yes. Obviously.

Pentecostal Stewardship

Reagan's Secretary of the Interior, James Watt, was famously unconvinced of the need to preserve the environment for future generations, because he didn't "know how many future generations we can count on until the Lord returns".

Hmm. Maybe ideas really are more dangerous than guns.

Obsessed much?

Just what are those pesky far right folk most interested in?

http://www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics

Human virus scanner

They say:
During our research for "Don't Cross the Memes" we encountered several potent memetic viruses. Six months later we have perfected a simple yet effective human virus detector. Scan yourself, or scan your friends.

* Each page of the scanner contains a grid of simple gray images
* Highlight the images you recognise by clicking on them
* Once you've marked all the images you recognise, move on by pressing Next
* After you complete the last page the system will automatically assess your exposure to currently known memetic viruses and suggest remedial actions

And my results back from the cyber doc:

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Junkfood

Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi

Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

BBCB

CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."

8-Bit

Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

British

No need for cure. Benign virus.

Windows

Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics

Stop caring!

Brand Names

Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Hippyism

Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Conspiracy Theory

Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Environmentalism

Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh

Use a mouse with more than one button.

Prog Rock

Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

Cars

There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Pokemon (60%)

Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

Linux (80%)

Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

USA (90%)

Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Goth (90%)

Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.

Religion (70%)

Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Japan (60%)

Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Discordia (70%)

Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Computer Games (80%)

Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Football (75%)

Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.

All simplistic stuff but interesting and quick nontheless have a go here

That Ship Ain't Comin' In

The Southeast has been going through a terrible drought the past eighteen months. So Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue decided it was time to take decisive action. He called for a day of prayer for rain, then led a prayer session himself yesterday outside the state capitol. "Does the God that Sonny Perdue believes in have to be informed about the drought?" asked local atheist Ed Buckner. "Doesn't he know? Or have the important people not appealed to him yet?"

Georgians are also showing their concern for God's Green Earth by continuing to water their lawns and gardens, even as the level of the reservoir that supplies Atlanta's drinking water has dropped a record sixteen feet.

Whatever it takes.