Crist Christ

Gov. Crist of Florida has no problem at all with this proposed custom plate. Crist is sometimes mentioned as a Republican presidential candidate. Anyone still wondering why Arlen Specter just bolted for the Democrats?

Say, is that a juicy Florida grapefruit in the background? Or maybe Jesus is working on his tan in the hot Ft. Lauderdale sun. Yeah, that's it; so the first vanity plate will be SUN TAN. Perfect. Though KIL ME would be, um, more perfect.

God SHOWERS pastor in GOLD

"God told me all week, 'I got you.'" the Rev. Brad Braxton said to thunderous applause.

Braxton was installed as senior pastor despite some parishioners filing a lawsuit to trim his $600,000 in salary and perks.

Call it the stimulus package from God.

$250,000 in salary.

$11,500 monthly housing allowance.

Private school tuition for his child.

A full-time maid.

Entertainment, travel and "professional development" allowances.

Pension and life insurance benefits.

An equity allowance for Braxton to save up to buy a home.

On top of that, Braxton immediately hired a new second in command at more than $300,000 a year.

Accurate News Poll on Religion

Do you identify with some form of the Christian religion?

Affect the outcome here.

And then vote again at work. Also, pass it along to all your God-hating friends. Because that's how we vote in Chicago. Early and often.

The Single Worst Post Thus Far In The History This Blog (With A Retardedly-Long Headline)

Sorry. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Can you practice "Practice what you preach?"

I spent the weekend with my wingnut, racist in-laws. Kill me.

The weekend started with with one of my brothers-in-law prank calling the house, using a broad, African American stereotype voice that was well beyond Amos & Andy era black face. Who answered the phone? My 11-year-old. Who was confused. Horrified. Repulsed. Good kid.

The Sysmistress took the phone from him, heard the voice on the other end, and hung up. Which led to calls from other in-laws asking if, for Easter Sunday, they should bring over chitin's instead of a salad.

When told that they were not welcome in our house if they continued with that crap, we were told to lighten up. "I don't have a problem with black people," said brother-in-law #1. "That's just my Obama impression." The first statement is demonstrably wrong. The second shows the power of rationalization of hatred. It goes right back. I have grown to truly loathe these people. If I didn't love my mother-in-law so much –- who is nothing like her horrible children -- I would have opted out of participating in any contact with these people years ago.

These people brought this humor to their Easter Sunday. When none of them went to church. When none of them bothered to discuss their faith on their most holy day of the year. When none of them bothered to say grace before digging in to their meal.

Which leads me to my topic.

If you're a Christian, act as a Christian. If you're a Catholic, act as a Catholic. If you fail to do that, I am not going to take you seriously if you address topics of faith or religion.

For all of the uproar about President Obama speaking at the University of Notre Dame Spring commencement, due to his pro-choice stance, I ask - how many "good Catholics" are calling him out on this? How many parents of students aren't hoping that if their kids are sexually active, they're using birth control? How many of the commenters are divorced? How many have family members who suffer from debilitating illnesses, but are provided hope by advancements in stem cell research?

In my completely secular view, I find the President's concern for people on the lower echelons of society profoundly humanist. I don't for a second think that Christianity has any more overlap with a humanist viewpoint than any other religious or nonreligious worldview. But for "Cafeteria Catholics", there seems to be more in his approach that overlaps with the teachings of Christ - rather than the practices of organized religion -- to find agreeable.