During our research for "Don't Cross the Memes" we encountered several potent memetic viruses. Six months later we have perfected a simple yet effective human virus detector. Scan yourself, or scan your friends.
* Each page of the scanner contains a grid of simple gray images
* Highlight the images you recognise by clicking on them
* Once you've marked all the images you recognise, move on by pressing Next
* After you complete the last page the system will automatically assess your exposure to currently known memetic viruses and suggest remedial actions
And my results back from the cyber doc:
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.
Viruses you suffer from:
- Junkfood
- Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
- Sci-fi
- Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
- BBCB
- CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
- 8-Bit
- Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
- British
- No need for cure. Benign virus.
- Windows
- Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice. - Politics
- Stop caring!
- Brand Names
- Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
- Hippyism
- Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
- Conspiracy Theory
- Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
- Environmentalism
- Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
- Macintosh
- Use a mouse with more than one button.
- Prog Rock
- Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
- Cars
- There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.
Viruses you might suffer from:
- Pokemon (60%)
- Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
- Linux (80%)
- Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
- USA (90%)
- Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
- Goth (90%)
- Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.
- Religion (70%)
- Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
- Japan (60%)
- Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
- Discordia (70%)
- Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
- Computer Games (80%)
- Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
- Football (75%)
- Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.
