House!

Papal visit

You may have heard that the Pope is coming over to Merry Olde England, we're just getting ready...

Dogma tricks

Just when the angry juice ebbs away and I start to think "shucks, maybe organised religion might not be so bad... it gives people direction and some of the architechture is nice" I get a short sharp reminder of why I get so upset.

The head of the Catholic Church in Mozambique has told the BBC he believes some European-made condoms are infected with HIV deliberately.

Maputo Archbishop Francisco Chimoio claimed some anti-retroviral drugs were also infected "in order to finish quickly the African people".

An estimated that 16.2% of Mozambique's 19m inhabitants are HIV positive. 17.5% of Mozambicans are Catholic.

"Condoms are not sure because I know that there are two countries in Europe, they are making condoms with the virus on purpose," he alleged, refusing to name the countries.

"They want to finish with the African people. This is the programme. They want to colonise until up to now. If we are not careful we will finish in one century's time."

Happy Sunday!

Alright, you godless heathens.

If a story about a mathematically-gifted dog on an evangelical mission doesn't convince you of the error of your ways, there is simply no hope for you.

Man, I'm so thickly coated with full of the holy spirit after reading that article that I think I might start speaking in tongues.

(Article link courtesy of Effect Measure.)

What's in a name?

A Catholic school in Australia is refusing to enrol a five-year-old unless he changes his surname.

St Peter Apostle School in Melbourne suggested that Max Hell would only be admitted if he used his mother's maiden name. His father initially agreed. But when it came to signing the enrolment forms Alex Hall decided to defend his family's name.

Mr Hell, a Catholic father of three commented "So what if I've got a name like Hell? That's my family history and my name." Mr Hell, 45, who is of Austrian heritage, said his surname meant light or bright in German. "It's 2007, not 1407 - it's not the Dark Ages."

"I've had enough. I was ridiculed as a child... I want him to be accepted as Max Hell, but obviously he's not," he said.

Yeah, well it's all very well laughing at the school authorities now - but what if this kid does indeed turn out to be some form of anti-christ eh? Who'll be laughing then?

The school board also expressed some concern over a pupil from Woolamaloo, Bruce 'Schism between the Councils of Ephesus and Chalcedon' Bailey.

a malignant tumour

A lot of the time my reaction to faith groups sticking their oar into issues just results in a tired sigh, a roll of the eyes and something muttered under my breath.

But this one really makes me genuinely proper angry. Hackles up, I can feel those adrenal glands working away they're prehistoric magic... preparing me to run like stink or kick off a fight.

As I'm sure all you well-read people know, a vaccination has been developed that has a 100% efficacy combating human papilloma virus (HPV), responsible for most cervical cancer cases. Cervical cancer kills 274,000 women annually - including 1,120 in the UK.

Fantastic news!

HPV is sexually transmitted. So for a vaccination programme to work well (with it's amazing 100% efficacy) we'll need to innoculate girls before they become sexually active. So far so obvious eh? I mean it's a simple principle isn't it.

Apparently not...

Stephen Green, National Director of Christian Voice (UK), said today:

'The best way of not getting cervical cancer and genital warts is to stay a virgin and marry a virgin. Why don't these officials want young people to do that? Why don't we raise their expectations and ours and treat them with some respect?'

'I expect school health outreach workers from Primary Care Trusts and the like will be giving Gardasil to young girls behind their parents' backs. Since the vaccine works best before the onset of sexual activity, they will be treating these girls, to put it bluntly, like tarts, saying they are sexually incontinent, lacking in self-respect and the basic morality required to keep their virginity.

'The message is one of despair, disrespect and low expectations. Anyone giving this drug to a girl is telling her: "I think you are a slag".

Holy fucking shit! I don't have the text formatting available to communicate how angry I am. Never mind the willful ignorant dismissal of how vaccination works. The grotesque ignorance, guilt and fear over sexual function. He'd rather condemn countless future women to cervical cancer than entertain the idea that girls eventually become women.

Naturally there are groups like the Family Research Council spouting the same drivel in the States. Well if you are determined to live in the Dark Ages. Fuck off and live there you twunts. You can give back your internet and your reading glasses whilst you're at it and the internal combustion engine too. Gaahhh!

Grand Canyon? Noah's flood

Click here for an extensive flickr slideshow, outlining a trip to the creation museum. Your intrepid explorers manage to photograph a fair bit of the accompanying text, so it gives a fascinating glimpse into the museum policy.

There are too many examples of straight-out of idiocy to start listing them here, I suggest you take a couple of deep calming breaths and take a look for yourself.

When the people behind this project started out on their 'the Bible is literal truth' jaunt they can't have imagined the kind of insane convoluted positions they'd need to take to make their ideas hang together... carnivores didn't exist before Adam's sin apparently.

This 'museum' is an insult. Not to rational atheists - I think we kinda had their number from the start. This 'museum' is an insult to decent god-fearing people who have allowed their faith to be hijacked by morons, pimps and hustlers. christians who allow it to proselytize in this manner and turn a blind eye should be ashamed of themselves.

I want to hear the people who profess to be rational normal christian folk lobbying their pastors, priests, senators and MP's to say "this isn't us. This is downright wrong, and we're not gonna stand for it" so far, the silence has been deafening.

Can this week get any better?

Evangelist Kent Hovind arrested on federal charges

If you're not convinced this is good news watch this

There's another star in heaven tonight

Jerry, taken so soon, we hardly knew yee...

"Textbooks are Soviet propaganda."

"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."

"I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush."

"Homosexuality is Satan's diabolical attack upon the family that will not only have a corrupting influence upon our next generation, but it will also bring down the wrath of God upon America."

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country."

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

And of course everybody's favourite...

"I really believe that the Pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians, ... the ACLU, People For the American Way - all of them who have tried to secularize America - I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this [terrorist attack: 9/11] happen." - Jerry Falwell, 700 Club, Sept 13, 2001

EDIT: Christopher Hitchens eulogy

The award for unintentional irony...

From the BBC Website:

Pope Benedict XVI has criticised "authoritarian governments" in Latin America, in a speech at the end of his five-day tour of Brazil.

He condemned the growing gap between rich and poor, blaming both Marxism and capitalism for the region's problems.

In his opening address to the two-week bishops' conference, the Pope attacked unnamed governments in Latin America that he said were "wedded to old-fashioned ideologies which do not correspond to the Christian vision of man and society".

He warned that the worsening gap between rich and poor was causing a loss of dignity through drugs, alcohol "and deceptive illusions of happiness".

I considered trying to write something pithy or satirical about the head of the Roman Catholic church decrying the gap between rich and poor and old-fashioned ideologies, but I just gave up. I mean how do you lampoon that?

top 5 links i've been saving up for my fellow atheists

1) This depresses the hell out of me. I was raised in the Episcopal church. At the age of 12, when I was set to start my confirmation classes, I came to the conclusion that not only did I not agree with all or even most of the tenets of the faith, but I just flat-out didn't believe in god. So that was it for me and church. Nevertheless, I have a fondness, still, for the Anglican church and its rituals and was thrilled when Gene Robinson was named bishop of New Hampshire (live free or die, baby!). I hate to see this divide in the church, and will be interested to see how it all plays itself out.

2) This article cheers me a bit, however. I was horrified (though not surprised) that Huckabee, Tancredo, and Brownback (honestly, I can't even type his name without giggling) said during the GOP debate that they didn't believe in evolution, but was delighted to see the split being exposed in the Republican party between the crazy, religious, anti-science nutjobs and the white guys who just really, really love money.

3) Mitt Romney says Battlefield Earth is his favorite book. Umm...okay. I really don't think there's anything I can say about this that Jon Swift didn't already say more hilariously than I possibly could.

4) But in that same post, he also linked to this site, which has permanently changed the way I think about Mormons. I mean, seriously, your church dictates what kind of underpants you wear? WTF?

5) Finally, this is just unspeakably hilarious, and I insist that you go watch the debate here right now. (Thanks to Slappy for bringing this to my attention.)