Stay Classy, Bro!

Reason for the Season

Stick your prayer

Aren't Christians nice?




Let his days be few; and let another take his office.

take my wife

Athiests Advertise

A group called the Boston Area Coalition of Reason has spent $11,000 to buy ads on more than 200 subway cars on the Red Line and Green Line to raise awareness about people who believe that God is a myth. Surveys suggest that they account for an increasing number of Americans.

Burn In Hell Contest

hard to argue with that...

I won't spoil it for you

It's that good.

And, unbelievably, the Demo(n)cratic response.

Conservative Bible Project

As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level
4. Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".
5. Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"; using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
6. Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
7. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
8. Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
9. Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
10. Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

Advice for atheists?

Link

What is "the" Christological narrative? There is none, or rather, there's a thousand of them. We know the context, too — that the Bible is an evolving mess of over-interpreted poetry and tribal stories and crackpot history. Why you guys choose to selectively declare one interpretation of one subset of the conglomeration to be the absolute truth as dictated by anthropomorphic vapor, while another arbitrary subset is archaic and doesn't apply anymore, is completely incomprehensible…not just to us, but to you, too.

Yes, I'm still Just Posting Silly Pictures With Snarky Commentary

...sorry about that.


via

Any questions?

Can Atheists Be Parents?

Judge Camarata denied the Burkes' right to the child because of their lack of belief in a Supreme Being. Despite the Burkes' "high moral and ethical standards," he said, the New Jersey state constitution declares that "no person shall be deprived of the inestimable privilege of worshiping Almighty God in a manner agreeable to the dictates of his own conscience." Despite Eleanor Katherine's tender years, he continued, "the child should have the freedom to worship as she sees fit, and not be influenced by prospective parents who do not believe in a Supreme Being."

reasonable reasoning

God, Guns, Guts and American Pick-Up Trucks

You don't have a problem with God, Do you? I'm just curious.

We should fall down prostrating!

The God-damned interwebs ruined all of my fun.

I was going to get all snarky about this:



blah, blah, blah. Preferential treatment of Christians. blah, blah, blah. Lame-ass event name. blah, blah, blah. Christian music as a careerist move for the soul-patched. blah, blah, blah.

But this has been going on at the Six Flags in New jersey for the past several years:

Six Flags, in addition to being a great recreation area, was filled with Allah's praise with the cries of Allahu Akbar everywhere. Young men and women dressed Islamically with sound knowledge of their beliefs and practices represented Islam. The greetings of "Assalaamu Alaikum" were everywhere. Any amount of thanks is but little for the gift, favored honor and guidance that we have received from Allah (SWT).

In thankfulness to Allah, we should fall down prostrating: O Lord! this is nothing but Your Benevolence and Mercy. O Allah! it is Your promise that the one who is thankful receives even more from Your bounties. "la in shakrthum la azeedanna kum".

'Not gonna go!' Boy, 7, drives away in family car to skip church

For a 7-year-old, his driving wasn't too bad, Anderson said.

"He had a few near misses, but he didn't hit anything or crash."

full story

Backfire

President Jimmy Carter. God I love him. He wrote this editorial in the Age (australia). Read the whole thing. Here's a sample:

This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths. Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women's equal rights across the world for centuries.

At its most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.

The impact of these religious beliefs touches every aspect of our lives. They help explain why in many countries boys are educated before girls; why girls are told when and whom they must marry; and why many face enormous and unacceptable risks in pregnancy and childbirth because their basic health needs are not met.

He'll be ripped to shreds, again. By people with 1/10th the heart. 1/10th the compassion. And clearly, 1/1000 the ability to think about what they believe in.

On a related note. This paper talks about the tendency of conservatives, when confronted with information contrary to (falsely) held beliefs, to harden their stance. Let's hear it for the obstinate fuckers.

A Step in the Right Direction?

The church is located on the corner of Church and Gay Street. Don't judge.

Dinochrist

Arizona state Senator Sylvia Allen (R)

Woah there Senator. Back up a little.

How old?

Christian Symposium On Aliens Ancient of Days 2009 Roswell UFO Conference

The vision of this symposium as organized by the selfless hard work of Guy Malone and others of alienresistance.org and ancientofdays.net is “to present the Biblical evidence that the phenomenon and entities commonly referred to as “aliens” by popular culture are indeed spiritual in nature as opposed to genuinely extraterrestrial and is best described as the activity of ‘fallen angels’ interested in deceiving mankind away from the knowledge of the true God and gospel of His Son and our Lord, Jesus Christ.”

The Mission of the symposium is to assemble many of the most noted Christian authors and researchers in the field of ‘alien’ research so that others may benefit from their consensus view and combined decades of research and ministry and thus equip the Body of Christ to not be deceived by these ‘seducing spirits and doctrines of devils’ (1 Timothy 4:1) and perhaps most importantly to effectively minister to those currently bound and tormented by their influence.”

taking a baptismal

What are Atheists? What do They Believe?

If you EVER make any friendly contact with an atheist, you will go STRAIGHT to Hell. Jesus will NEVER receive you, you fools. GOD HATES ATHEISTS WITH ALL HIS LOVE!

Die, Atheist, Die

Run, Shlomo, Run

Thousands of Orthodox Jews took to the streets of Jerusalem last Saturday. They were angry about a municipal parking lot being open on the Holy Sabbath.

More Photos

Enhanced Photo

Tell it

You may or may not have heard of the Ryan Commission report on child abuse within institutions run by the religious orders in Ireland - a depressing story all round.

This fella however is my hero.

Prayer: You're Doing It Wrong.

Spiritual research has shown that even negative energies can answer prayers, to our detriment! One’s spiritual level is the single most important factor in ensuring that one’s prayers are answered. Praying for world peace, while a noble thought, is most likely not to be answered due to lack of spiritual level of the people praying. Saints but They see the futility of praying as they are totally in alignment with God’s will and don’t see it separate from Theirs. Lastly the posture of prayer also contributes in the prayer being answered.

What God Would Allow This?

Godly Torture

Just last week I was wondering if there might be a correlation between faith and acceptance of torture. So today I see this on digg: the more you go to church, the more likely you are to approve of torture. Funny, that. I wasn't very impressed with Pew Research's sample sizes, though (fantasy headline: Pew Skews Churchgoer Poll), so I googled around for supporting evidence, and soon landed here:

It is hard to resist sarcasm. With our US government now transitioning from one based upon Christian Principles to one based on the Quran, it seems to have become fashionable lately to rename ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’ as torture... Fine, let’s call it torture and let’s accept that Christians, like Jesus Christ before them, will be unjustly brought to trial and face death for their acts of torture. When this happens, let us Prayerfully give thanks, taking solace in how it reminds us that persecution is precisely what defines Christians as a great Religious Movement. The fact of the matter is, we are compelled by our Christian Faith to perform whatever uncomfortable acts are necessary to prevent islamojihadists from committing mass murder.

I'm pretty sure Rev. Hipple is a hoax, which can only mean that life is sadly starting to imitate sarcasm.

Crist Christ

Gov. Crist of Florida has no problem at all with this proposed custom plate. Crist is sometimes mentioned as a Republican presidential candidate. Anyone still wondering why Arlen Specter just bolted for the Democrats?

Say, is that a juicy Florida grapefruit in the background? Or maybe Jesus is working on his tan in the hot Ft. Lauderdale sun. Yeah, that's it; so the first vanity plate will be SUN TAN. Perfect. Though KIL ME would be, um, more perfect.

God SHOWERS pastor in GOLD

"God told me all week, 'I got you.'" the Rev. Brad Braxton said to thunderous applause.

Braxton was installed as senior pastor despite some parishioners filing a lawsuit to trim his $600,000 in salary and perks.

Call it the stimulus package from God.

$250,000 in salary.

$11,500 monthly housing allowance.

Private school tuition for his child.

A full-time maid.

Entertainment, travel and "professional development" allowances.

Pension and life insurance benefits.

An equity allowance for Braxton to save up to buy a home.

On top of that, Braxton immediately hired a new second in command at more than $300,000 a year.

Accurate News Poll on Religion

Do you identify with some form of the Christian religion?

Affect the outcome here.

And then vote again at work. Also, pass it along to all your God-hating friends. Because that's how we vote in Chicago. Early and often.

The Single Worst Post Thus Far In The History This Blog (With A Retardedly-Long Headline)

Sorry. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Can you practice "Practice what you preach?"

I spent the weekend with my wingnut, racist in-laws. Kill me.

The weekend started with with one of my brothers-in-law prank calling the house, using a broad, African American stereotype voice that was well beyond Amos & Andy era black face. Who answered the phone? My 11-year-old. Who was confused. Horrified. Repulsed. Good kid.

The Sysmistress took the phone from him, heard the voice on the other end, and hung up. Which led to calls from other in-laws asking if, for Easter Sunday, they should bring over chitin's instead of a salad.

When told that they were not welcome in our house if they continued with that crap, we were told to lighten up. "I don't have a problem with black people," said brother-in-law #1. "That's just my Obama impression." The first statement is demonstrably wrong. The second shows the power of rationalization of hatred. It goes right back. I have grown to truly loathe these people. If I didn't love my mother-in-law so much –- who is nothing like her horrible children -- I would have opted out of participating in any contact with these people years ago.

These people brought this humor to their Easter Sunday. When none of them went to church. When none of them bothered to discuss their faith on their most holy day of the year. When none of them bothered to say grace before digging in to their meal.

Which leads me to my topic.

If you're a Christian, act as a Christian. If you're a Catholic, act as a Catholic. If you fail to do that, I am not going to take you seriously if you address topics of faith or religion.

For all of the uproar about President Obama speaking at the University of Notre Dame Spring commencement, due to his pro-choice stance, I ask - how many "good Catholics" are calling him out on this? How many parents of students aren't hoping that if their kids are sexually active, they're using birth control? How many of the commenters are divorced? How many have family members who suffer from debilitating illnesses, but are provided hope by advancements in stem cell research?

In my completely secular view, I find the President's concern for people on the lower echelons of society profoundly humanist. I don't for a second think that Christianity has any more overlap with a humanist viewpoint than any other religious or nonreligious worldview. But for "Cafeteria Catholics", there seems to be more in his approach that overlaps with the teachings of Christ - rather than the practices of organized religion -- to find agreeable.

If Atheists Ruled the World

C'mon, kids! Go and get your hoods and robes!

We are scientists - you are clowns

Professor Nicholas Gotelli (University of Vermont) was invited to debate one of the clowns at the Discovery Institute.Click here for the full text of their invitation and the Prof's devastating rebuttal where he declines the invitation.

Man I wish I could put people down this precisely whilst remaining polite at all times - it'd be an awesome superpower, just call me Captain CutDown!

So, I hope you understand why I am declining your offer. I will wait patiently to read about the work of creationists in the pages of Nature and Science. But until it appears there, it isn't science and doesn't merit an invitation.

Zing!

The Most Polite Religious Uproar in History

Put Me in a Rubber Suit for Jesus

Man puts an ad on Craigslist to tell people his loving Christian family will adopt dogs who can be cared for. Families notice their dogs they gave to this man are now being sold on Craigslist. People get upset and call Fox news investigative reporter who comes out to visit the man and ask why he is selling dogs he says he is adopting.

All the cool kids

All the cool kids will be wearing these great new t-shirts!



According to the good folk at Passion for Christ a quick hand shandy is definitely a sin - and they can prove it. Possibly using an Etch-a-Sketch or some crazy shit, I don't know.

And if you need even more encouragement, check out ya girl Dameco's latest blog entry, in which she fearlessly testifies to her struggle and victory over masturbation!

It damn well better be a graphically described heavily illustrated struggle. With any luck the final victory only arrives when her friend Shanice turns up ... gotta love those goody goody chicks.

When you feel your life's too hard

Just go have a talk with God.

worth 1,000 words

Proof Positive: The Bible Prevents Rape

Captain Carroll said there is no evidence that Ms. Boykin was sexually assaulted or beaten during the three days she was held captive.

Mr. Brisport did, however, read Bible passages to Ms. Boykin.

"It's unusual to hold somebody for that long and not commit a sexual assault, and to restrict them like that, and read Bible verses to them," Captain Carroll said.

Transubfrubriation Ain't Got Shit On Voodoo!

Thanks to the power of prayer -- and a near-accident -- a St. Paul woman, Mary Nabila Muma, has withdrawn her federal lawsuit against her ex-husband. That's the one in which she said another woman was using voodoo to steal Marcellus Muma from her.

Hocus Pocus

Yes but no but Yes linked to a comic I hadn't, heretofore, seen, called
Jesus hates Zombies." (link omitted, intentionally, read on, bitches)

Nice.

Pushes a lot of my buttons.


But, preparing a post, digging deeper, I found some links to some YouTube vids of Zombie Christ and thought:

a. Not funny (enough)

and

b. Not post-worthy

The point in starting this side-blog was to underline unfortunate, ill-informed ideas put forth by those who maintain a religious bent, and to highlight insightful ways that those who think otherwise state their case.

The zombie Jesus stuff feels like Marilyn Manson style "aren't I shocking you" nonsense.

We can do better.

Chicago's Holy Name Cathedral caught fire today. News reports told us that (thankfully) the sacraments were removed safely.

That's what we should talk about here. Magic crackers. The ludicrous belief in transubstantiation.

Eyeball of the Beholder

From the Guardian:

Sir David Attenborough has revealed that he receives hate mail from viewers for failing to credit God in his documentaries. In an interview with this week's Radio Times about his latest documentary, on Charles Darwin and natural selection, the broadcaster said: "They tell me to burn in hell and good riddance."

Telling the magazine that he was asked why he did not give "credit" to God, Attenborough added: "They always mean beautiful things like hummingbirds. I always reply by saying that I think of a little child in east Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball. The worm cannot live in any other way, except by burrowing through eyeballs. I find that hard to reconcile with the notion of a divine and benevolent creator."

Christian Parenting on the Edge

My 17 year old son has been very secretive with me lately, recently he has started to refuse to go to church with the family and tonight when I was going through his room I found a magazine with naked men in it. He obviously has a girlfriend that he is hiding from me that brought that magazine into my home and I am afraid they are having intercourse and I am greatly concerned that he is going to get her pregnant.

What should I do about this?

This Is Artistic Expression

"There is no pornography here, there's no sex, there are no virgins menstruating or feeling each other up."

Christian Fanfic

Athanatos Christian Ministries is proud to announce that their first annual Christian writing contest is now accepting submissions.

http://christianwritingcontest.com

ACM is looking for fictional short stories that reflect and represent the Christian world view. The purpose is to raise up a generation of Christian writers who can engage our culture within the arts and compete in the secular arena (ala CS Lewis, JRR Tolkien, Dorothy Sayers, GK Chesterton, etc).

Cash prizes amount to over $2,000. College and high school students are encouraged to submit their short stories (3,000 to 7,500 words).

Two levels of competition: "High School" and "19 and Up" (college students, adults, retirees all welcome!)

Winners receive a cash award and are published in the contest anthology which is then made available through outlets such as Amazon.com. EVERY person who submits a story gets a copy of this anthology AT NO ADDITIONAL COST.

http://christianwritingcontest.com

Hosted by Athanatos Christian Ministries
http://www.athanatosministries.org

Sweet Jesus

Jeebus is with you always... clicky