Marx Soup

Karl Marx appears in a spoonful of soup. Should we expect miracles? Worker revolution?

I'll bet Jesus is pissed that Karl's totally stealing His thunder.

Dogma tricks

Just when the angry juice ebbs away and I start to think "shucks, maybe organised religion might not be so bad... it gives people direction and some of the architechture is nice" I get a short sharp reminder of why I get so upset.

The head of the Catholic Church in Mozambique has told the BBC he believes some European-made condoms are infected with HIV deliberately.

Maputo Archbishop Francisco Chimoio claimed some anti-retroviral drugs were also infected "in order to finish quickly the African people".

An estimated that 16.2% of Mozambique's 19m inhabitants are HIV positive. 17.5% of Mozambicans are Catholic.

"Condoms are not sure because I know that there are two countries in Europe, they are making condoms with the virus on purpose," he alleged, refusing to name the countries.

"They want to finish with the African people. This is the programme. They want to colonise until up to now. If we are not careful we will finish in one century's time."

Suing God

From the Huffington Post:

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

Best part of the story: that picture of Sen. Chambers, looking distinctly halo'd standing in front of an oscillating fan.

Baby, I'm a Star

Happy Birthday, Sysm.

Y'all can find your own star here.

Jesus Is a Fetus

Having found the blog of an old friend from high school, I began doing the linky-madness thing.

Every single one of her friends' blogs made mention of two, and only two subjects: Jesus and having babies.

Fuck.

Rationalists will lose to the fundamentalists based on this very simple truth: they are outnumbering us. They are building an army of God-fearing Jesus freaks, and that army is coming to our schools and our neighborhood block parties.

Plus, these people all go to churches that convert into basketball courts.

We're doomed.

Ass Licking = My New Religion

Mystery, the strangely compelling, ridiculously behatted seduction guru and host of VH-1's The Pick-Up Artist, opened my mind this weekend to a whole new kind of spirituality when he said, in this interview,

"ass licking isn't a fetish, it's spiritual."

Finally, a kind of worship I can get behind! (Rimshot.) I even know the perfect hymn for us to use in our services! C'mon! Who's with me?

Not dead, just resting

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but...

...ohmygod, I totally love Kathy Griffin. Chillax, Christ-lovers. We have to listen to you people sucking up to Jesus all the fucking time. We just want Jesus to suck back, yo.

Blasphemy

Ba's post about Christopher Hitchen's new book God is Not Great reminded me of the Blasphemy Debate at the Hay on Wye Festival 2005. Chaired by Joan Bakewell and inspired by the Incitement to Religious Hatred Bill, which had been announced in the Queen's Speech the previous month.

Click for MP3 (78mins)

It's called a debate but to be more accurate it's a discussion. Stephen Fry and Christopher Hitchens cover issues of freedom of speech, religious tolerance, multiculturalism and orthodoxy. Fascinating, though-provoking and as you'd expect from two such consummate orators extremely entertaining.

Listening to two secular thinkers discussing blasphemy and issues of religion may be preaching to the choir somewhat, but it's lovely to hear my thoughts on a subject being expressed so much better than I could manage. If you can't manage to listen to it let me leave you with Stephen Fry's rather more economical assessment from an episode of QI

"Religion, I shit it."

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

He may not be familiar to our cousins abroad but disgraced former UK spy David Shayler has revealed that he is the Messiah. Previously best known as a former MI5 (British Security Service) officer who was prosecuted under the Official Secrets Act after passing documents to the Mail on Sunday newspaper in August 1997.

Shayler called a news conference to reveal more details.

Mr Shayler said: "I am the last incarnation of the Holy Ghost. As the Holy Spirit is God incarnate as essence, I am God incarnated as spirit and man."

Obviously supplying copy to Mail on Sunday means it's characteristic strident tone rubs off on you Richard Littlejohn Shayler said: "It is absolutely clear to me that the world is going to hell in a handcart.
"Few would dispute that humanity needs a Messiah to get it through these difficult times."

Realising his announcement would lead to questions over his sanity, he conceded: "This is all rather embarrassing for someone who was an atheist technocrat three years ago."

Far be it from me to dwell on the stress and paranoia associated with being a member and subsequent enemy of a covert security service, but I'd imagine it's enough to give the most robust psyche a little twinge.

Having spent time first-hand witnessing a range of mental health issues I've always thought that one of the most ironic things about certain nervous breakdowns is that whilst the subject's perception is that the most singular, amazing one-off thing is happening... the list of people who've been there already is most galling - "Oh you're the messiah? Take a seat, you're number 7 tonight"

Richard Dawkins Reviews GOD IS NOT GREAT by Christopher Hitchens

The next chapter, “Religion Kills”, benefits from Hitchens’s experience as a war correspondent. (Others have likened him to Evelyn Waugh or Graham Greene, but my own comparison is with Waugh’s intrepid rogue Basil Seal, who couldn’t keep out of trouble or away from the world’s trouble spots.) Publicly challenged by an American preacher to admit that, if approached by a gang of men in a dark alley, he would be reassured to learn that they had emerged from a prayer meeting, Hitchens’s return volley was unplayable:


Just to stay within the letter “B”, I have actually had that experience in Belfast, Beirut, Bombay, Belgrade, Bethlehem and Baghdad. In each case I can say absolutely, and can give my reasons, why I would feel immediately threatened if I thought that the group of men approaching me in the dusk were coming from a religious observance.

Goats Die, Hindus Fly

I think Hindus have gotten off too easy on this blog. After all, they don't settle for believing in one god, they believe in lots of gods — and apparently at least one of them likes goats.

Here's what I believe: if I ever go to Kathmandu, I'll be taking the goddamn train.

Jesus Is An Attention Whore

Miracle in Lodi!

When asked what she thinks Jesus symbolizes on the fence, Garcia said she wasn't sure, except that he wants to be seen more.

"He might want peace," she said.

Maybe he just wants someone to get him the fuck out of Lodi.