The True Meaning of Christmas

Tie a Yellow Ribbon

Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?

Is God Using NAFTA Superhighway to Stop Homosexuality?

Yes. Obviously.

Pentecostal Stewardship

Reagan's Secretary of the Interior, James Watt, was famously unconvinced of the need to preserve the environment for future generations, because he didn't "know how many future generations we can count on until the Lord returns".

Hmm. Maybe ideas really are more dangerous than guns.

Obsessed much?

Just what are those pesky far right folk most interested in?

http://www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics

Human virus scanner

They say:
During our research for "Don't Cross the Memes" we encountered several potent memetic viruses. Six months later we have perfected a simple yet effective human virus detector. Scan yourself, or scan your friends.

* Each page of the scanner contains a grid of simple gray images
* Highlight the images you recognise by clicking on them
* Once you've marked all the images you recognise, move on by pressing Next
* After you complete the last page the system will automatically assess your exposure to currently known memetic viruses and suggest remedial actions

And my results back from the cyber doc:

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Junkfood

Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi

Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

BBCB

CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."

8-Bit

Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

British

No need for cure. Benign virus.

Windows

Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics

Stop caring!

Brand Names

Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Hippyism

Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Conspiracy Theory

Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Environmentalism

Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh

Use a mouse with more than one button.

Prog Rock

Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.

Cars

There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Pokemon (60%)

Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

Linux (80%)

Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

USA (90%)

Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Goth (90%)

Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.

Religion (70%)

Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Japan (60%)

Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Discordia (70%)

Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Computer Games (80%)

Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Football (75%)

Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.

All simplistic stuff but interesting and quick nontheless have a go here

That Ship Ain't Comin' In

The Southeast has been going through a terrible drought the past eighteen months. So Georgia Gov. Sonny Perdue decided it was time to take decisive action. He called for a day of prayer for rain, then led a prayer session himself yesterday outside the state capitol. "Does the God that Sonny Perdue believes in have to be informed about the drought?" asked local atheist Ed Buckner. "Doesn't he know? Or have the important people not appealed to him yet?"

Georgians are also showing their concern for God's Green Earth by continuing to water their lawns and gardens, even as the level of the reservoir that supplies Atlanta's drinking water has dropped a record sixteen feet.

Whatever it takes.

Oh come on....Really?

Ok, as I mentioned before, I'm not actually an atheist. I may or may not be the only non-atheist who contributes to this blog. However, I do like to shed light on fundamentalist hypocrisy and/or utter insanity. Today I have a shinning example of the latter.

Unfortunately for all tolerant people who live in my hometown, the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary is located here in Louisville. I was reading the Louisville Courier Journal online this morning and came across an interesting story. And by "interesting" I mean "god damn infuriating and almost beyond comprehension".

A Southern Baptist seminary student (who shall remain nameless because frankly I don't want her to do a google search and find this blog because I don't want to fucking hear her stupid opinion) wrote an editorial in the school's newspaper. I think the newspaper's name is Fuck Free Thought, but I could be wrong. Anyway, this woman, this human being who presumably has a vagina, says that feminism is completely against God's will. But wait, there's more. She also opines (I assume with a straight face) that Eve was the first feminist, and look where that got us! She herself used to be a self-described "anti-marriage, anti-childbirth" feminist, but she saw the light blah blah blah. Here's a pithy little quote from the idiot:

"My 'recovery' from feminism is not about learning how to bake pies or a decision to be more feminine (though these are important and helpful things). Instead, it is about repentance. Repentance of my desire to be in control and to raise my fist against God's created order. Only through repentance and faith in Christ am I, or any one for that matter, able to renounce rebellion and submit to the lordship of Christ. Recovery from feminism also means truly believing that God's Word regarding gender, and everything else for that matter, is true."

Jesus, whether one believes he is the Son of God, an historical prophet, or a fictional character, is on record for being very much IN FAVOR OF REBELLION. By being a feminist, she wasn't rebelling against the teachings of Jesus, she was rebelling against the powerful yet insecure old men who eventually brainwashed her into hating herself.

This woman has every right to chose to lead a life of pious indentured servitude under the thumb of some fundamentalist alpha-and-omega-male*, but that doesn't make her any less of a self-righteous, self-loathing nutcase.

*This isn't about a woman who decides to be a stay at home mom, or a man who decides to become a stay at home dad, or a couple who win the lottery and opt to be stay at home parents. This is about willfully choosing to be another human being's fucking lapdog and publicly fitting oneself for angel's wings as a result.

Happy Birthday Planet Earth!

Don't you just hate it when you miss an important anniversary? I do have an excuse though - try as I might rushing about the place, I could not track down six thousand birthday candles.

In the 1650s, an Anglican bishop named James Ussher published his "Annals of the World," The book, now published in English for the first time, is a favorite of homeschoolers. It's the history of the world from the Garden of Eden to the fall of Jerusalem in AD 70 and in it the bishop calculates the creation of the earth happened on Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. – making it exactly 6,010 yesterday.

Ussher's arrival at the date of Oct. 23 was determined based on the fact that most peoples of antiquity, especially the Jews, started their calendar at harvest time. Ussher concluded there must be good reason for this, so he chose the first Sunday following autumnal equinox.

Well thank goodness for that - there's a robust method behind the calculation, for a minute I was worried that it may be nonsense.

Anyhoo tonight I'll be raising a glass for the planet. Happy birthday old girl!

An Ode

To the original Zombie. All part of a fun day at the Toronto Zombie Walk. Check out the fun here

Flickr: Photos from littlemissknit

Blogged with Flock

l33t haxors pwn Coulter

Oh for the long gone time of my youth when our family were amongst the vanguard of 'home computer' owners, mainly because dad convinced mum that buying a BBC model B with the £300 he would save by doing so would act as an incentive to give up the smokes. (Nice one dad, a textbook example of blokenomics)

Not for us a Sinclair or Commodore games machine, the far more worthy BBC Micro was a serious device for learning about programing BASIC and controlling one of those perspex turtles with a felt-tip pen inside.

Perhaps our parents hoped my brother and I would become computer experts, we certainly entertained fantasies of becoming hackers and controlling ICBMs a la War Games. The reality turned out for most of us to be far more prosaic - we all use computers everyday with differing degrees of competence to do stuff.

But it would have been worth any number of late nights learning code to be able to hack Ann Coulter's website like this person did dammit.

Jesus ♥s Halo

Evidently, Christianity is suffering from a bit of an image problem.

It used to be, says David Kinnaman, that Christianity was both big and beloved in the U.S. — even among its non-adherents. Back in 1996, a poll taken by Kinnaman's organization, the Barna Group, found that 83% of Americans identified themselves as Christians, and that fewer than 20% of non-Christians held an unfavorable view of Christianity. But, as Kinnaman puts it in his new book (co-authored with Gabe Lyons) UnChristian, "That was then."

Barna polls conducted between 2004 and this year, sampling 440 non-Christians (and a similar number of Christians) aged 16 to 29, found that 38% had a "bad impression" of present-day Christianity. "It's not a pretty picture" the authors write...Kinnaman claims that however defined, the number of non-Christians is growing with each succeeding generation: His study found that 23% of Americans over 61 were non-Christians; 27% among people ages 42-60; and 40% among 16-29 year olds. Younger Christians, he concludes, are therefore likely to live in an environment where two out of every five of their peers is not a Christian.

What's the solution? Let 'em play Halo in church.

Far from being defensive, church leaders who support Halo — despite its “thou shalt kill” credo — celebrate it as a modern and sometimes singularly effective tool. It is crucial, they say, to reach the elusive audience of boys and young men.

Witness the basement on a recent Sunday at the Colorado Community Church in the Englewood area of Denver, where Tim Foster, 12, and Chris Graham, 14, sat in front of three TVs, locked in violent virtual combat as they navigated on-screen characters through lethal gun bursts. Tim explained the game’s allure: “It’s just fun blowing people up.”

I'm sure Jesus would agree.

Christ! Where do we park?

With four kids under twelve, family outings can be some expensive shit. So, when possible, we look for things to do on the weekends that are fairly cheap. One of the cheapest, ostensibly, is the ubiquitous town festival. In the summer time, that usually means has-been seventies artists, a "Taste of (insert town name here)", and perhaps a death-mongering carnival.

Fall festivals, on the other hand, tend to be more focused on our agrarian past. Foods and crafts rule the day. This past weekend, our destination was the Apple Fest in Long Grove. Long Grove is a kinda pointless little tchotchke mecca, in the wooded, tony far Northwest suburbs. If jars of apple jalapeño butter are your thing, that's where to go. And if jars of apple jalapeño butter are your thing, you need a better thing.

Coming in to town, we had to wait 10 minutes to pull in to the only available parking lot. There was an attendant at the entrance, who was stopping each car, collecting their parking fee, and directing them where to park. One attendant. Not terribly efficient. When we finally got to the front of the line, the attendant greeted us, "Hi, the Long Grove Community Church has donated their parking lot for the weekend, please park anywhere you'd like." No fee. Taking the hint, "Can we offer a donation?" "No thank you. Jesus loves you."

Ok. Jesus loves me. But needed me to wait in line for 10 minutes to tell me. But I guess I shouldn't look a gift-parking lot-savior in the mouth. As we left the lot, a young boy, stationed near the sidewalk, asked, "Would you like a bottle of water? it's free!" A church elder, standing behind him, shouted excitedly, stepping on his line, "Like Christ's love!"

The Fest was not suitably festive. And our area was burning in Hellfire yesterday. So we didn't stay for long. Certainly not long enough to break the seal on our Jesus water. I threw the bottle in the fridge when we got home. It wasn't until a little dew condensed on the plastic that I noticed that Christ's love for me, in liquid form, was best consumed before 08/07/2007.

LOLTheist

Because LOLcats plus Religion Equals High-larity!

Marx Soup

Karl Marx appears in a spoonful of soup. Should we expect miracles? Worker revolution?

I'll bet Jesus is pissed that Karl's totally stealing His thunder.

Dogma tricks

Just when the angry juice ebbs away and I start to think "shucks, maybe organised religion might not be so bad... it gives people direction and some of the architechture is nice" I get a short sharp reminder of why I get so upset.

The head of the Catholic Church in Mozambique has told the BBC he believes some European-made condoms are infected with HIV deliberately.

Maputo Archbishop Francisco Chimoio claimed some anti-retroviral drugs were also infected "in order to finish quickly the African people".

An estimated that 16.2% of Mozambique's 19m inhabitants are HIV positive. 17.5% of Mozambicans are Catholic.

"Condoms are not sure because I know that there are two countries in Europe, they are making condoms with the virus on purpose," he alleged, refusing to name the countries.

"They want to finish with the African people. This is the programme. They want to colonise until up to now. If we are not careful we will finish in one century's time."

Suing God

From the Huffington Post:

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to makes the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

Best part of the story: that picture of Sen. Chambers, looking distinctly halo'd standing in front of an oscillating fan.

Baby, I'm a Star

Happy Birthday, Sysm.

Y'all can find your own star here.

Jesus Is a Fetus

Having found the blog of an old friend from high school, I began doing the linky-madness thing.

Every single one of her friends' blogs made mention of two, and only two subjects: Jesus and having babies.

Fuck.

Rationalists will lose to the fundamentalists based on this very simple truth: they are outnumbering us. They are building an army of God-fearing Jesus freaks, and that army is coming to our schools and our neighborhood block parties.

Plus, these people all go to churches that convert into basketball courts.

We're doomed.

Ass Licking = My New Religion

Mystery, the strangely compelling, ridiculously behatted seduction guru and host of VH-1's The Pick-Up Artist, opened my mind this weekend to a whole new kind of spirituality when he said, in this interview,

"ass licking isn't a fetish, it's spiritual."

Finally, a kind of worship I can get behind! (Rimshot.) I even know the perfect hymn for us to use in our services! C'mon! Who's with me?

Not dead, just resting

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but...

...ohmygod, I totally love Kathy Griffin. Chillax, Christ-lovers. We have to listen to you people sucking up to Jesus all the fucking time. We just want Jesus to suck back, yo.

Blasphemy

Ba's post about Christopher Hitchen's new book God is Not Great reminded me of the Blasphemy Debate at the Hay on Wye Festival 2005. Chaired by Joan Bakewell and inspired by the Incitement to Religious Hatred Bill, which had been announced in the Queen's Speech the previous month.

Click for MP3 (78mins)

It's called a debate but to be more accurate it's a discussion. Stephen Fry and Christopher Hitchens cover issues of freedom of speech, religious tolerance, multiculturalism and orthodoxy. Fascinating, though-provoking and as you'd expect from two such consummate orators extremely entertaining.

Listening to two secular thinkers discussing blasphemy and issues of religion may be preaching to the choir somewhat, but it's lovely to hear my thoughts on a subject being expressed so much better than I could manage. If you can't manage to listen to it let me leave you with Stephen Fry's rather more economical assessment from an episode of QI

"Religion, I shit it."

He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

He may not be familiar to our cousins abroad but disgraced former UK spy David Shayler has revealed that he is the Messiah. Previously best known as a former MI5 (British Security Service) officer who was prosecuted under the Official Secrets Act after passing documents to the Mail on Sunday newspaper in August 1997.

Shayler called a news conference to reveal more details.

Mr Shayler said: "I am the last incarnation of the Holy Ghost. As the Holy Spirit is God incarnate as essence, I am God incarnated as spirit and man."

Obviously supplying copy to Mail on Sunday means it's characteristic strident tone rubs off on you Richard Littlejohn Shayler said: "It is absolutely clear to me that the world is going to hell in a handcart.
"Few would dispute that humanity needs a Messiah to get it through these difficult times."

Realising his announcement would lead to questions over his sanity, he conceded: "This is all rather embarrassing for someone who was an atheist technocrat three years ago."

Far be it from me to dwell on the stress and paranoia associated with being a member and subsequent enemy of a covert security service, but I'd imagine it's enough to give the most robust psyche a little twinge.

Having spent time first-hand witnessing a range of mental health issues I've always thought that one of the most ironic things about certain nervous breakdowns is that whilst the subject's perception is that the most singular, amazing one-off thing is happening... the list of people who've been there already is most galling - "Oh you're the messiah? Take a seat, you're number 7 tonight"

Richard Dawkins Reviews GOD IS NOT GREAT by Christopher Hitchens

The next chapter, “Religion Kills”, benefits from Hitchens’s experience as a war correspondent. (Others have likened him to Evelyn Waugh or Graham Greene, but my own comparison is with Waugh’s intrepid rogue Basil Seal, who couldn’t keep out of trouble or away from the world’s trouble spots.) Publicly challenged by an American preacher to admit that, if approached by a gang of men in a dark alley, he would be reassured to learn that they had emerged from a prayer meeting, Hitchens’s return volley was unplayable:


Just to stay within the letter “B”, I have actually had that experience in Belfast, Beirut, Bombay, Belgrade, Bethlehem and Baghdad. In each case I can say absolutely, and can give my reasons, why I would feel immediately threatened if I thought that the group of men approaching me in the dusk were coming from a religious observance.

Goats Die, Hindus Fly

I think Hindus have gotten off too easy on this blog. After all, they don't settle for believing in one god, they believe in lots of gods — and apparently at least one of them likes goats.

Here's what I believe: if I ever go to Kathmandu, I'll be taking the goddamn train.

Jesus Is An Attention Whore

Miracle in Lodi!

When asked what she thinks Jesus symbolizes on the fence, Garcia said she wasn't sure, except that he wants to be seen more.

"He might want peace," she said.

Maybe he just wants someone to get him the fuck out of Lodi.

Modesty forbids

If you're anything like me you'll agree that the body is a vile tempting sinful thing that needs to be covered up - lest the sight of an uncovered navel tips me into the brutal violent rape spree that lingers within every god fearing man.

If it wasn't for the big fella watching over me constantly there's no tellin' what shenanigans I'd be up to, but sometimes we need a little help - which is why Wholesomewear.com is a real godsend for all the ladies out there who'd like to go swimming, but understand that it's their duty to cover up at all times.

Jesus Loves You

But his dad thinks you're a shit.

Don't blame me, I voted for Darwin

As a resident and native of Louisville, KY, I have been authorized by a group of open-minded Louisvillians, including several non-fundamentalist Christians, to disavow any connection between our city and Kentucky's Creation Museum. The museum, which claims that man rode dinosaurs ala Barney Rubble, is in the northern Kentucky town of Petersburg (heh heh - Peter).

Petersburg, KY is located in the greater Cincinnati, Ohio area. It's a suburb of the Natty, a notoriously conservative town where law enforcement personnel are encouraged to shoot minorities on sight. Well, maybe not encouraged, but it has happened more than once.

The city of Louisville as a whole is sick and tired of being brought down by areas of Kentucky that border other fucked up states. For example, the Appalachian families with a blueish tint to their skin from generations of inbreeding are but a barefooted stroll away from West Virginia. And another horrible Kentucky embarrassment, Wynonna Judd, was raised near the Tennessee border.

So as far as the Creation Museum goes, it's not our fault! Like Pilate, we wash our hands of it.

How Powerful is Wiley S. Drake's God?

Wiley S. Drake, a pastor and a former national leader of the Southern Baptist Convention, called on his followers to pray for the deaths of two leaders of Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

In the 1990's, his seemingly ineffectual God failed to end both Gay Day at Disney World and 2 Live Crew.

I would suggest that if Joe Conn and Jeremy Leaming, whom Mr. Drake calls the "enemies of God" are alive in 3 days time, than Mr. Drake and his followers switch their allegiance to a more effective god (perhaps Ba'al, or Cthulu) and petition their new good to slay their former weak God.

Postmodern Preaching

First of all, there exists a Christian YouTube. It's called GodTube.

Secondly, there exists on GodTube a video of God speaking through a guy talking to another dude through whom Gene Simmons is speaking. And I'm watching it on TV at work, but really it's my boss watching through me. And so are you!

Holy Eggplant!

God's existence is finally proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. The ultra faithful should start pooling their material goods for the upcoming eBay auction, where the shining truth is sold to the highest bidder. Hallefallujah!

I knew "God Hates Fags" but now "Church Hates Fags"?

From the Houston Chronicle:

A megachurch canceled a memorial service for a Navy veteran 24 hours before it was to start because the deceased was gay.

Officials at the nondenominational High Point Church knew that Cecil Howard Sinclair was gay when they offered to host his service, said his sister, Kathleen Wright. But after his obituary listed his life partner as one of his survivors, she said, it was called off.

Read the rest of the article here.

Love your brother. Just not with lube.

Louis CK learns about the Catholic Church

A candid look into the ancient multinational organization.

video here

What is your dangerous idea?

Every year Edge poses a question meant to stimulate rational thinkers in the empirical world. In 2006 Steven Pinker suggested "What is your dangerous idea?", not dangerous because it's an ultimate weapon or a diabolical theory, dangerous because it may be true - or it might cause you to ask a difficult question.

Charles Seife suggested that nothing can be more dangerous than nothing, Susan Blackmore asked if everything might in fact be pointless. Habitual controversy magnet Richard Dawkins on the subject of eugenics asks "what is the moral difference between breeding for musical ability and forcing a child to take music lessons"

I'm beguiled by dangerous ideas, I love to watch a stand-up comedian who is pushing the boundary of what the audience regards as acceptable. It's delicious when they tell a joke that excedes the boundary but is so funny that everybody laughs before they've had a chance to filter it as 'unacceptable content' it's a very piquant laugh that leaves the audience complicit in the 'crime'.

What's your dangerous idea? Or would you like to guess which one of the following I may believe today...

• A vote is not a right, it should be earned
  
  
• Some countries would benefit from benevolent colonialism
  
  
• Fans of celebrity/talent shows should be sterilised
  
  
• The smarter you are, the less happy you'll be

What should the penalty for death be?

The good thing about dogma is that employed properly you can remove all traces of thought from a process.

I like the fact that this clip demonstrates just how little consideration you need to put into your position as long as you're convinced the big fella ordains it.

I have my own opinions on a lot of subjects, some more controversial than others. But I've got more respect for the person holding a polar opposite opinion that has a well reasoned position that stacks up, than somebody who agrees with me with a badly formed argument featuring holes you can drive a bus through.

But hey that's just me I enjoy the cut and thrust of the debate, and all the skills therein - I admire some people's skills even if I abhor their position (did somebody say George Galloway?)

In that spirit, sidestep the subject matter - one of the most divisive ever, and enjoy the amount of thought the protesters have put into their position.

Religious Book Seller Struck By Lightning

A man making a trip from Puerto Rico to South Florida to raise money for his religious education remains hospitalized Monday after he was struck down by a bolt of lightning which flew from clear blue sky on Sunday. He was selling religious materials when he was hit.

more details

Does this still count as a miracle? I'm a bit hazy on the whole miracle thing... is it just when unlikely stuff happens or does it have to be nice things happening that are unlikely?

Happy Sunday!

Alright, you godless heathens.

If a story about a mathematically-gifted dog on an evangelical mission doesn't convince you of the error of your ways, there is simply no hope for you.

Man, I'm so thickly coated with full of the holy spirit after reading that article that I think I might start speaking in tongues.

(Article link courtesy of Effect Measure.)

Christian Activists Disrupt Hindu Chaplain In The Senate

Today was a historic first for religion in America's civic life: For the very first time, a Hindu delivered the morning invocation in the Senate chamber — only to find the ceremony disrupted by three Christian right activists.

What's in a name?

A Catholic school in Australia is refusing to enrol a five-year-old unless he changes his surname.

St Peter Apostle School in Melbourne suggested that Max Hell would only be admitted if he used his mother's maiden name. His father initially agreed. But when it came to signing the enrolment forms Alex Hall decided to defend his family's name.

Mr Hell, a Catholic father of three commented "So what if I've got a name like Hell? That's my family history and my name." Mr Hell, 45, who is of Austrian heritage, said his surname meant light or bright in German. "It's 2007, not 1407 - it's not the Dark Ages."

"I've had enough. I was ridiculed as a child... I want him to be accepted as Max Hell, but obviously he's not," he said.

Yeah, well it's all very well laughing at the school authorities now - but what if this kid does indeed turn out to be some form of anti-christ eh? Who'll be laughing then?

The school board also expressed some concern over a pupil from Woolamaloo, Bruce 'Schism between the Councils of Ephesus and Chalcedon' Bailey.

Jesus of the Week

This particular Jesus seems more like a Jackie Treehorn production than the Son of G. However, the Jesus of the Week site provides many that may be more to your liking.

He turned me into a newt - I got better.

When Robert Kubica emerged from a spectacular high speed crash in Montreal with nothing more than a slight concussion and a sprained ankle fans of Formula 1 were quick to praise the high standard of safety mandated in the design of grand prix cars.

It seems that we may be giving these so called designers a little too much credit, apparently the reason Kubica fared so well is a miracle. A miracle performed by the late Karol Józef Wojtyła, or Pope John Paul II to you.

And the evidence for this intervention? Kubica hails from Krakow, the late pontiff's home city.

Oh well, when you put it like that.

Kubica is remaining admirably tight-lipped about the claims. They crop up because the complicated rules governing the canonization of saints mean supporters of the canonization must acrue a body of 'evidence' of heroic virtue and a posthumous miracle. These folk are keen to fast-track Karol, 'cause he was a stand-up kinda guy.

You know what? Fuck it, make him a saint. It's your game and your ball do what you like, it's not going to make any difference to the rest of the planet if you decide that he's to be awarded the honorific Grand high Duke of Kickass. What makes me chortle is the incredibly prim and serious business of collecting evidence, like there's some kind of methodology behind this superstitous claptrap.

Oh, and don't think I've missed the irony of them spending the rest of their day ignoring truckloads of scientific evidence that disagrees with their odd beliefs.

More Dawkins

Dawkins responding to the clip of Ted Haggard cautioning him to avoid arrogance..."There actually is something that's worth being withering about"

Fatwa Pronounced Against Fashion Magazine Staff

“The managers of this magazine deserve to die”, Maulana Abdul Aziz said at Friday prayers on 15 June at the radical Lal Masjid or Red Mosque after the magazine carried a series of photos in its June edition captioned “Adam and Eve, the bone of contention”.

Heh! Heh!

Bone.

a malignant tumour

A lot of the time my reaction to faith groups sticking their oar into issues just results in a tired sigh, a roll of the eyes and something muttered under my breath.

But this one really makes me genuinely proper angry. Hackles up, I can feel those adrenal glands working away they're prehistoric magic... preparing me to run like stink or kick off a fight.

As I'm sure all you well-read people know, a vaccination has been developed that has a 100% efficacy combating human papilloma virus (HPV), responsible for most cervical cancer cases. Cervical cancer kills 274,000 women annually - including 1,120 in the UK.

Fantastic news!

HPV is sexually transmitted. So for a vaccination programme to work well (with it's amazing 100% efficacy) we'll need to innoculate girls before they become sexually active. So far so obvious eh? I mean it's a simple principle isn't it.

Apparently not...

Stephen Green, National Director of Christian Voice (UK), said today:

'The best way of not getting cervical cancer and genital warts is to stay a virgin and marry a virgin. Why don't these officials want young people to do that? Why don't we raise their expectations and ours and treat them with some respect?'

'I expect school health outreach workers from Primary Care Trusts and the like will be giving Gardasil to young girls behind their parents' backs. Since the vaccine works best before the onset of sexual activity, they will be treating these girls, to put it bluntly, like tarts, saying they are sexually incontinent, lacking in self-respect and the basic morality required to keep their virginity.

'The message is one of despair, disrespect and low expectations. Anyone giving this drug to a girl is telling her: "I think you are a slag".

Holy fucking shit! I don't have the text formatting available to communicate how angry I am. Never mind the willful ignorant dismissal of how vaccination works. The grotesque ignorance, guilt and fear over sexual function. He'd rather condemn countless future women to cervical cancer than entertain the idea that girls eventually become women.

Naturally there are groups like the Family Research Council spouting the same drivel in the States. Well if you are determined to live in the Dark Ages. Fuck off and live there you twunts. You can give back your internet and your reading glasses whilst you're at it and the internal combustion engine too. Gaahhh!

Are we not men?

Not terribly shocked, but still...

According to a new Gallup poll, the majority of U.S. Republicans doubt the theory of evolution. I wish this were a slam dunk, but only 60% of Dems and Independents affirm an understanding and agreement of the scientific theory of evolution. Note, I will not use the term "believe in evolution". I think using the word "belief" is a semantic trap, which gives the creationists more footing. "You believe, so you have faith. I do, to. I just believe in different things."

The idea of equating scientific proof and faith is loathsome to me. One expects - demands - proof. The other demands unquestioning acceptance.

Grand Canyon? Noah's flood

Click here for an extensive flickr slideshow, outlining a trip to the creation museum. Your intrepid explorers manage to photograph a fair bit of the accompanying text, so it gives a fascinating glimpse into the museum policy.

There are too many examples of straight-out of idiocy to start listing them here, I suggest you take a couple of deep calming breaths and take a look for yourself.

When the people behind this project started out on their 'the Bible is literal truth' jaunt they can't have imagined the kind of insane convoluted positions they'd need to take to make their ideas hang together... carnivores didn't exist before Adam's sin apparently.

This 'museum' is an insult. Not to rational atheists - I think we kinda had their number from the start. This 'museum' is an insult to decent god-fearing people who have allowed their faith to be hijacked by morons, pimps and hustlers. christians who allow it to proselytize in this manner and turn a blind eye should be ashamed of themselves.

I want to hear the people who profess to be rational normal christian folk lobbying their pastors, priests, senators and MP's to say "this isn't us. This is downright wrong, and we're not gonna stand for it" so far, the silence has been deafening.

Blasphemy!

This is wrong for so many reasons.

Fear and loathing

Synchronicity is a curious thing. WBB and I were reflecting on Dawkins being nicknamed 'Darwin's Rottweiler' when the only clips we've seen show him once more patiently setting out his case often to aggressive opposition. And now I discover reading Hunter S. Thompson's collected correspondence that the good Doctor had a Doberman called Darwin. Coincidence? I think not.

As big a fan of Thompson as I am, I was never completely clear where he stood on matters theological. The following pointed letter in reply to a fan of his book on Hell's Angels asking about christianity amongst bikers is typically brutal yet enigmatic.

April 21 1968
Woody Creek, Co

Dear Mr. Schultz...

...in response to your query about the Hell's Angels and Christianity - which I note you spelled with a capital "C". In that context, I'd have to say that the Hell's Angels have no attitude at all toward Christianity; this is one of the few redeeming facets of their collective personality. Through no fault of their own, they have been spared the millstone of one of history's greatest lies.
...the answer to your second question should be self-evident by now: the notion that capital C christianity might reach anybody who's in touch with the reality of this world strikes me as a hopeless joke. Those bastards have done enough damage with their hypocrital, dues-paying, soul-rotting cage of a mean religion. If any one of those swine had a decent impulse in him, he'd get the hell out of the way and make room for some christians.
I trust this answers your question.

Sincerely
Hunter S, Thompson

Deviled Eggs and Ham

Peter Mlakar is chief theologian and philosopher of NSK State, a Situationist enclave in Slovenia that has no borders but issues passports. A well-known Slovenian Catholic philosopher apparently once remarked that his work "cannot be opposed with counter-argument, but only with prayer and fasting."

Judge for yourselves; here are excerpts from his seminal WAT speech on CUM:

"Dear friends, highly respected guests, believers and non-believers, brothers and sisters,

Before the male part greases its moustache and the women soak their red lips into the glass of spirit, I would like to greet heartly all present here. But I would also like to tell you some other things, so that we in that way still pour oil on our general wild dancing. [...]

Time [is] a cruel history of human suffering, but history is an omelette which the alive egg is broken for. The both are the complete indifference, but do they therefore serve to Satan? Here we would at first conclude that the evil can be an abolishment for the higher aim. An omelette or a smoked ham, when a swine was slaughtered, it's not bad. But we make the devil lose his nerves, when we think ourselves as a property, as an element of his total Contradiction, as Non-world. For a real good is more than a world. [...]

Dear friends, the eternity is definitely the first and the ultimate and we are of it. I see our life as a purpose of the Abolute, where there is no danger. Beer is running and running through our throats, we will pinch the girls for asses forever, maybe they will pull our nails the equal length of time but at God neither fuck nor woe are by our shoe size."

Mayberry Bible Study Series

"...United Methodist Church...bible study series...Andy Griffith show...relate to God's word..."



"The episode Opie the Birdman shows us the importance of taking responsibility for our actions, and how just saying "I’m sorry" doesn’t automatically fix everything."




Wait. I thought the main idea of Christianity...oh, never mind..

Life of Pi

During my final teaching internship I got to read Life of Pi three times. I have never enjoyed a book or been so thoroughly rewarded for my immediate rereading as I was with this book.

So why would all of you in our little space find this book interesting? It has the most compelling argument for freedom of (and from) religion I have ever read.

The story is about a boy named Piscine Patel, a teenager from India who survives in the Pacific Ocean for 227 days in a life boat with a Bengal tiger. Pi's life is also interesting because he is a practicing Hindu, Muslim and Christian who claims he is so because he "simply wants to love God". While the book provides a great insight into the effect religion can have on a person, it is ultimately about choice and the need of many people to believe there is a power greater than us.

Pi not only chooses to believe in three religions but he also provides his reader with the option of two different accounts of his time on the boat and while he does not demand that you believe any particular version, he is explicit that your choice will not affect his beliefs.

If you are looking for a good read this summer (I will warn you it is a little slow) then pick it up, or let me know and I will lend you my copy.

Oh! The douchebaggery!

Honestly, I can't even respond. Just read it.

Pimp Your Pope

The cover of this week's edition of Der Spiegel reads "It's All God's Fault!" — The Crusade of the New Atheists. It's a very unfavorable take on Dawkins, Hitchens, and other proponents of "New Atheism". In a nutshell: New Atheists are the New Fundamentalists, intolerant Enlightenment warriors who are going to drive moderate Muslims into the "Islamist" camp and erode the moral foundation of the Occident.

Germany is a pretty secular country; one third of Germans are not formally affiliated with any religion. But now that one of them is Pope, they're in no hurry to flush their newly found political capital down the toilet. What really seems to bug Der Spiegel about the New Atheists is, of all things, their irrationality. That's right: they find the New Atheism insufficiently scientific, a charge they neglect to level at the Vatican (and other) theologians they quote at length. So while it at first seems like Der Spiegel is trying to take the religion "debate" back two-hundred years, when the Jacobins were stringing up priests by their own entrails, they're actually taking it back to the Middle Ages, back in the good old days when God and Reason were One.

It is, in short, one god-awful excuse for journalism.

undoJesus.org

This is not a hate site.



This is a love site.


link and pix found on J-Walk

Well what DO you believe in?

Interesting question really... what do I believe in? Do you have to believe in something?

Quite a common post when you read one of those interminable threads full of people debating religion/atheism goes the lines of "well if you have no faith then your life is essentially empty and meaningless"

I could respond in a couple of ways. It's rather arrogant to suggest that my answer to that rather provocative statement would be similar to any other atheist's. Leaving aside the many different answers I might give about my meaningful and fulfilling secular life... does there have to be a point?

For a large portion of post-religious people in the industrialised world they put their belief and faith into something equally diaphanous. These people believe in "The Market".

"The Market will drive prosperity", "Market forces will improve our schools and hospitals". Market forces are lies that parents tell their children because they want them to grow up and become economists. The reality of the sleight of hand we are all engaged in - economics and world banking is so crazy and ultimately doomed that it strikes me as being just as odd a belief system as any other religion.

This film starts off with the very basic concept of money as an IOU, but soon describes a very worrying alternative faith that is surely going to destroy the planet if left unchecked.

It's 45mins long, but worth it.

Newsflash!

Atheist pretends to be decent!

Don't let down your guard!

Atheists cannot be trusted!

Don't let them in your home!

Lord knows what they'll do.

Memo to creationists, nothing for you here.

"Parade" magazine is a weekly newspaper insert. This week's cover story was caled "The Secrets of Dark Matter", written by Yale Physics professor Meg Urry. The text will be available online starting Tuesday 30-May is there right now. While the article could've been titled "Dark Energy for Sysm Dummies", it was a scientific article, yo. No hedging. The Universe is billions of years old, motherfuckers. And I will not waste one sentence of space qualifying this as a "theory".

I can't tell you how much reading the article filled my heart with joy.

What Kind of Atheist Are You?

You scored as Scientific Atheist, These guys rule. I'm not one of them myself, although I play one online. They know the rules of debate, the Laws of Thermodynamics, and can explain evolution in fifty words or less. More concerned with how things ARE than how they should be, these are the people who will bring us into the future. Scientific Atheist 83% Militant Atheist 75% Angry Atheist 75% Spiritual Atheist 50% Theist 25% Apathetic Atheist 25% Agnostic 8% What kind of atheist are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Found this over at the Omnipotent Poobah's. Pretty damn accurate!

My head hurts. Other parts, too.

I need a vacation. I'm thinking Petersburg, Kentucky. Anyone care to join me?

Or maybe I just need some domestic discipline (H/T to Boing Boing, via Sysm).

Parental Advisory

This textbook contains material on evolution. Evolution is a theory, not a fact, regarding the origin of living things. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered.

Wording taken verbatim from the sticker designed by the Cobb County ("A community with a passion for learning") School District, Georgia.

As of December 19th, 2006, the courts have upheld the initial ruling that the sticker was unconstitutional. The district is now on double-secret probation: (is it me or does 'double-secret probation' sound like something a seven year old made up?) it can't do anything that similarly undermines the teaching of evolution or that similarly supports the presence and activities of supernatural entities. Details can be had at the National Center for Science Education.

I've always been a huge fan of the people who when presented with an oaf, a bully, or a ridiculous belief don't start foaming at the mouth and raising their voice. Rather they use wit, wisdom and panache. In the battle of wits a calmly made point delivered with a withering smile can be as devastating as a stiletto in the kidneys.

So kudos to this fella for making a supporting range of stickers for textbook usage. Here are a couple of favourites, I urge you to take a look at the others.

Can this week get any better?

Evangelist Kent Hovind arrested on federal charges

If you're not convinced this is good news watch this

The Moon and Venus

Nothing news worthy, just a photo I took tonight of the Moon and Venus (click image for larger view) with my Canon EOS 350D. ISO 100, 2.5 sec exposure at f5.6 using a 300mm lens. On June 18th a waxing cresent Moon will occult Venus between 9 and 10 a.m. EDT

A Little Nietzche for the weekend

A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation.

The Selfish Green

I know, I know, a lot of links but this debate is well worth watching. The speakers are Dr Jane Goodall, Sir David Attenborough, Dr Richard Leakey and Professor Richard Dawkins.

Flush with Pride

Going down. Way down.

Bye, Jerry.

There's another star in heaven tonight

Jerry, taken so soon, we hardly knew yee...

"Textbooks are Soviet propaganda."

"Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions."

"I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that if he suggested eliminating the income tax or doubling it, I would vote yes on first blush."

"Homosexuality is Satan's diabolical attack upon the family that will not only have a corrupting influence upon our next generation, but it will also bring down the wrath of God upon America."

"The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country."

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

"If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."

And of course everybody's favourite...

"I really believe that the Pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians, ... the ACLU, People For the American Way - all of them who have tried to secularize America - I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this [terrorist attack: 9/11] happen." - Jerry Falwell, 700 Club, Sept 13, 2001

EDIT: Christopher Hitchens eulogy

Can we stress it was a substitute teacher?

In my post-masters-lay-about-in-bed-vacation I have been catching up on the blogs as well as trashy entertainment news. This story struck me:

A lawsuit has been launched against a school teacher who showed Brokeback Mountain to a class of young students. Twelve-year-old Jessica Turner and her grandparents, Kenneth and LaVerne Richardson, are seeking $500,000 against the Chicago Board of Education after the movie was shown at Ashburn Community Elementary School. The lawsuit, filed in Cook County Circuit Court on Friday claims Turner "suffered psychological distress" after viewing the R-rated film, which was viewed by the class without permission from the student's parents or legal guardians. Turner's grandfather Kenneth Richardson, who complained to school heads in 2005 over profanities in educational reading literature, says, "The teacher knew she was not supposed to do this. It is very important to me that my children not be exposed to this. This was the last straw. I feel the lawsuit was necessary because of the warning I had already given them on the literature they were giving out to children to read. I told them it was against our faith."

Now I totally agree that what this substitute teacher did was wrong. Not only was the movie rated R, but I can't think of an educational reason for watching it. That being said, why does the issue of faith have to be involved? Is their claim more powerful because it is founded in their desire to be homophobic?

The award for unintentional irony...

From the BBC Website:

Pope Benedict XVI has criticised "authoritarian governments" in Latin America, in a speech at the end of his five-day tour of Brazil.

He condemned the growing gap between rich and poor, blaming both Marxism and capitalism for the region's problems.

In his opening address to the two-week bishops' conference, the Pope attacked unnamed governments in Latin America that he said were "wedded to old-fashioned ideologies which do not correspond to the Christian vision of man and society".

He warned that the worsening gap between rich and poor was causing a loss of dignity through drugs, alcohol "and deceptive illusions of happiness".

I considered trying to write something pithy or satirical about the head of the Roman Catholic church decrying the gap between rich and poor and old-fashioned ideologies, but I just gave up. I mean how do you lampoon that?

top 5 links i've been saving up for my fellow atheists

1) This depresses the hell out of me. I was raised in the Episcopal church. At the age of 12, when I was set to start my confirmation classes, I came to the conclusion that not only did I not agree with all or even most of the tenets of the faith, but I just flat-out didn't believe in god. So that was it for me and church. Nevertheless, I have a fondness, still, for the Anglican church and its rituals and was thrilled when Gene Robinson was named bishop of New Hampshire (live free or die, baby!). I hate to see this divide in the church, and will be interested to see how it all plays itself out.

2) This article cheers me a bit, however. I was horrified (though not surprised) that Huckabee, Tancredo, and Brownback (honestly, I can't even type his name without giggling) said during the GOP debate that they didn't believe in evolution, but was delighted to see the split being exposed in the Republican party between the crazy, religious, anti-science nutjobs and the white guys who just really, really love money.

3) Mitt Romney says Battlefield Earth is his favorite book. Umm...okay. I really don't think there's anything I can say about this that Jon Swift didn't already say more hilariously than I possibly could.

4) But in that same post, he also linked to this site, which has permanently changed the way I think about Mormons. I mean, seriously, your church dictates what kind of underpants you wear? WTF?

5) Finally, this is just unspeakably hilarious, and I insist that you go watch the debate here right now. (Thanks to Slappy for bringing this to my attention.)

Independent Thought Alarm

Now, I’m guessing here, but I think I am the only vegetarian posting on this blog. In my understanding, and all-inclusive nature, I accept your carnivorous ways but I do not agree with them - that is unless I am on my own in another country loaded to the gunwales with beer and my morals having set sail in the nearest lager fueled dinghy (strange beer/nautical metaphor now over).

Anyway, I work with a bunch of chest beating, willy-waving carnivores. I have to put up with “you’re such a poof” type comments at work pretty much every day because I don’t have meat in my baguette for lunch. With the way they carry on I can imagine their dream is to be sitting in the back of a pickup truck, BBQ blazing, having a tailgate party. Yeah, I fucking love meat. Woo yeah! Woo, all right!! USA! USA!

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there.

Anyway, it feels as if there’s no room for understanding or respect, only room for hatred of people that don’t conform. Unless that is, of course, you are religious. If I were a Hindu my colleagues would respect my vegetarian ways and, as I have witnessed, try to eat my lunch (I suspect because the food is full of chillies and they can assuage their fears that they might catch gay or something).

The reason my co-workers have respect for the Hindus in the office, and ask to try their vegetarian food (rather than my “disgusting muck”) is because those same Hindus ARE TOLD not to eat meat by their religion. Not because they reached a personal decision not to eat meat based on their own moral code, derived through independent thought, but because they are told not to. They’re not being faggy and thinking for themselves.

To me this sums up the philosophy of the religious. Do not respect the minds of those of independent thought; ridicule and bully them. If they do that enough maybe they’ll shut up and stop questioning things.

Rant over.

P.S. If you do eat meat I am not judging you, that is your choice; and as a group of thoughtful people I’m sure after due consideration you’ve made your own minds up on the subject.

Legacy

A throwaway item on the Today programme this morning suggested that Tony Blair, casting around for something to do after stepping down as Prime Minister of Great Britain, may create a foundation to foster more understanding between christianity, judaism and islam. Whilst it may just be a rumour it has that ring of plausibility that all good rumour-mongers look for.

There are of course plenty who will point out that Mr Blair has done much in the recent past to unite muslims, christians, atheists and everybody else thank you. But I suspect that isn't quite the type of unity he's after.

Tony is as we all know a 'committed christian' but he is a modern faithful type who wants to invite all the other sects round for a cuppa and "can't we all just y'know, get along?"

I've never quite understood this stance - if your faith is right everybody else is going to hell. End of story.

I think this is why Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church cause discomfort to other christians. The WBC are by anybody's reckoning a tiny, marginal bunch. But when they insist that their interpretation of their god's word is correct and every other man jack of you is going to hell, people tend to feel a little uneasy.

"So that means it's 23 people sitting on gods right hand side and 6.5 billion don't get in?"

WBC: "Yup"

They cause embarassment not because their ideas are ker-razy, but because they are so dam close to the acceptable face of religiosity, just delivered with a wide-eyed zeal and assurance that scares folk.

To suggest that a particular issue that Fred Phelps preaches about is not valid, or un-christian turns a lens onto less extreme christians and asks all sorts of difficult questions about scriptural interpretation that they'd really rather not answer.

Anyhoo, Tony seems awfully keen that he has a legacy (I think you'll have one T, don't worry) so I'm going to open a foundation to create dialogue between Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Isn't it time that they just got along?

Happy National Day of Reason!

Today is the National Day of Prayer.

Really. The President says so. And he's the Ten Commander guy.

"Hey, Sysm. What's wrong with that? People of all faiths reflecting on how their faith influences their lives."

All faiths? Huh. Sounds good. Well, first of all, read the fucking thing. Monotheist. Male Pronoun.

"Okay, so forget all of those Hindus. At least it covers Christians, Jews and Muslims, right?"

Muslims? Ha ha! You're funny. Let's say I'm Jewish. Can I apply to be a coordinator for the National Day of Prayer Task Force? Nope. Not according to Shirley (Mrs. James) Dobson:

Thank you so much for your interest in becoming a volunteer for the National Day of Prayer Task Force. Knowing that you are busy and have many pressures that impinge upon your time, we deeply appreciate your willingness to consider "pitching your tent" with us. God has assembled an elite force for this endeavor. Our team is made up of extremely dedicated men and women who love and serve Jesus Christ and who have a heartfelt belief that prayer is the only hope for our country. Through their efforts, a covering of intercession blankets our entire culture - a "prayer shield" that is critical at this juncture when America faces turmoil within and grave threats from without. As our Task Force works to achieve the divine purposes to which we are called, we'd be encouraged to have you join us.

So I guess that "persons of all faiths" thing is pretty much bullshit, huh?

Hmm. Bullshit from the President. Lip service about people of other faiths. Gee, that might actually erode my confidence in the President.

I wonder what thoughtful people at our Christian colleges have to say? I'm sure they'd love to have the decent Christian President and Vice President visit their campuses.

Nope.

They seem to think Bush and Cheney are dishonest, manipulative, condescending fucktards. Though they're a bit more diplomatic than I.

Thankfully, the elite atheist underground militia is mobilizing a counter-event. The National Day of Reason, in their letter asking the President for their own proclamation, they say:

We the undersigned ask that you designate ... the first Thursday in the month of May, the National Day of Reason. A proclamation, such as the one that follows would go a long way toward encouraging the application of reason and tolerance in public discourse and affirming the value of maintaining the separation of church and state.

Good luck with that guys.

Note: I was completely oblivious to this event prior to reading Eric Zorn's column in the Chicago Tribune. I am continually amazed that the Tribune gives Mr. Zorn prominent column space. He's been a phenomenal advocate for a sensible division of Church and State. Ad he's been consistently willing to represent his humanist views.